Felix's Birth

For my first blog post, I figured I'd start from the beginning of my parenting story: Felix's birth. I had Felix when I was 18, which is much older than the common age that women tend to give birth in our society. Most girls marry off at around 14 years of age and have their firstborn soon after. I married Cornelius at 16 since my parents cared deeply about my education, wanting me to spend a few more years at home with a private tutor so I could learn to read and write. This is unusal for a girl, since most of our education revolves around learning how to keep a home, but since my father was a moderately wealthy merchant, my parents were able to fund my education further. Their generosity with my education is the very reason I'm able to write this blog today.

But back to Felix. I gave birth to Felix in August when Titus Flavius Sabinus and Gaius Rutilius Gallicus were consuls. I remember taking several different herb remedies given to me by my widwife and preparing a nursery in the months leading up to his birth. I was very prepared and thrilled to have a baby. After I gave birth, there were still several steps before Felix was actually inducted into our family. First, our midwife examined the child to make sure that he was healthy and that there were no post-birth complications. Second, we placed him on the ground, only to be picked up by Cornelius if he decided to accept the responsibility of raising the child. This practice is called tollere. Many times, fathers don't accept their children into the family for reasons like disabilities or economic concerns, and those children are left orphaned or essentially placed outside to die. This isn't looked down upon-- to us, children are only considered human once they can walk and talk, and newborn babies can be a liability. We don't have an intense level of emotional attatchment to our children until we can actually communicate with them and form a relationship. Especially in the first few days after birth, it's unwise to get attatched. During this time, infants are still largely vulnerable, and death is very common. This is why we waited until Felix was eight days old to give him a name, and we had a celebration ritual called the dies lustricus to officially accept him into the family. After much thought, Cornelius and I decided to name him Felix to manifest his good fortune and wellbeing. On this day, we gave Felix his bulla, a locket of gold, to help ward off evils until he reached adulthood. For the parents of newborns reading this, I advise you to be intentional during these first few days of life without growing too attached. And also take confidence; if it's your first child, raising a Roman might feel daunting, but that's what I'm here for. Read on to learn more about my experiences from different developmental stages of a child's life, from incancy to early education to adulthood.

vale, et animum sume,

Octavia